It Gets Better

When Women Wanted Sex

When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men 

written by Alyssa Goldstein

provides interesting reflections on history and culture.

Friends With Benefits

Daisy Buchanan shares some sound advice on The Rules Of Shagging Your Friends

Good In Bed.

Good in bed.

Sex should feel as natural as drinking water.
It should not require confidence.
Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe.
Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.
You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh.
It’s not about being “good in bed.”
It’s about being happy.
One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.
What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you.
Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.
Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be.
I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.
I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want.
It’s originality.
It’s passion.
It’s joy.
Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.
I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.
“Good in bed,” what.
You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you.
Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel.
This isn’t a test.
- Anonymous

I didn't write this, i found it online and as you can see it is anonymous. I just felt that it spoke to me and i wanted to share it. Thank you.

A Thought To Take With You

“Love's gift cannot be given, it waits to be accepted.” 
― Rabindranath Tagore

Happy Friday!

“Great calm, generous detachment, selfless love, disinterested effort: these are what make for success in life. If you can find peace in yourself and can spread comfort around you, you will be happier than an empress.” 
― Rabindranath Tagore

Happy Birthday, Papa!

“Children are living beings - more living than grown-up people who have built shells of habit around themselves. Therefore it is absolutely necessary for their mental health and development that they should not have mere schools for their lessons, but a world whose guiding spirit is personal love.” 
― Rabindranath Tagore

Papa would've arrived at 72 years of age today, he is a Snake Year born. He was a marvelous spirit. He still is.

Happy Spring

“If someone smells a flower and says he does not understand, the reply to him is: there is nothing to understand, it is only a scent. If he persists, saying: that I know, but what does it all mean? Then one has either to change the subject, or make it more abstruse by saying that the scent is the shape which the universal joy takes in the flower.” 
― Rabindranath Tagore, My Reminiscences

smile because it happened

“If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.” 

― Rabindranath Tagor

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

― Dr. Seuss 

"Pretty much all the honest truth-telling there is in the world is done by children."

Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest." -Mark Twain

What is love?

Upon searching for the correct spelling of the W. H. Auden, who described lust or sexual drive as "intolerable neural itch", I came across this article titled Brains Do It: Lust, Attraction, and Attachment by Helen E. Fisher. This article further explains what I call the three branches of love.

Are you serious? You are asking yourself that question again? What is love?

I recently settled on love acronym, which for me is: Listen, Observe, Value, Embrace.

I'll let my subconscious work on a new one that includes Oxytocin... haha!

What is love? C'mon, there is no definitive answer to what is love. So, it's ok, whatever you feel and identify as love, is love, sorrow or happiness, that depends on where you are standing in the spectrum of love. We have abilities to appreciate different shades of love, love expressed in all sorts of ways. So, it's ok, to use the word love in everyday, even with people we just met, we all love, we can say I love you without holding ourselves back, without questioning our motive or intent... thought we just might be asked to clarify what we mean by love, and deservingly so. We can feel love, be in love, with ourselves or others, anytime, we humans love to love, we crave love, so, why not?

By the way, each time i try to type article, I misspell it as articke, and the spellcheck wants to change it to artichoke. my body might be hungry for artichoke dip. it's not yet lunch time, but what the heck, it's brunch time.

I'll conclude with this quote by one of my favorite wordsmiths...

“Love is an endless mystery, because there is no reasonable cause that could explain it.” 
― Rabindranath Tagore

xo,
FG

“A world without love is a deadly place.”

Borrowing Helen Fisher's words from the TED Talk filmed February 2006 titled Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat, we are moving forward to the past, when women were regarded just as economically, socially, sexually powerful as men.

There's so many gems in this talk! Enjoy, and share with me what were your favorite moments or what insights you took away from it.

My favorite takeaways were: reasons why we humans can love more than one persons at a time, a good quote on collaborative representation of man and woman, and fresh view on lust.

xoxo,
FG

On Enjoying Marriage

“A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
― Dave Meurer

Thus, honesty leads to funniness! Enjoy one another. Be amused. Laugh. Take time to laugh.

More on Marriage

“Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy.”
― Gordon B. Hinckley

This one is nice, and I agree. Immensely happy!

Sharing Sentiment on Topic of Marriage

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
― Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

I decided to look up quotes on marriage. To gain some perspective. Like success, each one of us must define what that is.

Lately, defining things and making clear my intentions for doing anything are becoming important. Important to function in successfully living life. My individual independent unique precious life.

I used to avoid this because I thought once I defined or selected a path, I could never change it. But in reality, that is not so.

Let's see what other marriage quotes I find that's sound to my heart.

Oh, and you know what an inside of a chocolate wrapper read? 'Take time to laugh. It is music to the soul'. I've heard the latter part, but I really like the first part.

Take time to laugh.

If you daughter is sick...

Ask her to listen to her body, she must stay very quiet and still to hear, and rest, and imagine all parts of her body she can name to return to health by closing her eyes etc. Tell her she's not missing out on anything (not school, not tv, not anybody's conversations) because there's nothing more important than healthy functioning body mind and heart!

If your child is a son, please feel free to change the words like her to him, and she to he, etc. It is for every child.

This is a text I wrote to a friend tonight, who replied that the words were like prayers. when I heard that I had to share with you, too, because I could not contain such praise by myself or I would've combusted.

Thanks for visiting.
And I hope your child is not sick.

slide-together and slide-apart

imagining muscles slide-together and slide-apart.
instead of stretching and tightening.
a new perspective.
watch Laura's video on toned muscles.
cheers!

One Way to Honor the Resistance and Stuckness

Wow, I just heard a very nice advice and wanted to share with anyone who has piles of things that you hold on to for a long long time.  I mean for a looooong time, like me, with my journals and sketchbooks and art and from my high school and college years that just sits and sits in a box at a corner of bedroom.

The advice is from an archived HayHouseradio program called From Crisis to Clarity: Integration which was aired February 27, 2009.  The episode is one hour long, but if you wanna jump to what I heard and motivated me to post here, then fast forward to 33 minutes in, more accurately it's around 33:45.

Basically the advice is to sit with a specific pile and listen for a message from it.  You'll have to hear the whole explanation and ideas behind it, because I haven't processed it enough myself to reiterate it clearly yet. 

I'm going to do this.

happy new year!

a view of bright things to come

this could be the anthem for this blog

What have you done for yourself lately?

On Friday after work, I had some time before meeting a friend at her upper west side apartment, so I got off the subway at 103rd street and walked into Central Park, intending to find a nice spot to have myself a private little picnic dinner.  Upon entering this area of the park, I noticed immense hilliness.  To my left, the path led uphill and was overgrown with vegetation, and to my right it went steeply downhill, leading to a glimmering pond below.  I gambled and turned left, and began walking up a narrow curving path.  The plants grew heavier and wilder with each step.  They were so unruly that they scared me a little, so I was glad to see a few people sitting on the grass and a few others walking by.  New Yorkers are very lucky to have access to such a park.  While I was looking for a nice spot, an orange-bellied bird perching on a fence caught my eye, and I noticed that the fence was at the entrance to another passage, to the left.   I walked on by at first, but then decided to turn back and check it out.  I had to duck my head a little to enter, and then I stepped into a clearing with a big, shimmery, black rock and more grassy field and gardens beyond.  The sun was shining from the west through the tree branches, and the rock was wide and seemed like a welcoming place to sit.  I stepped up onto the rock and immediately noticed that I was not alone.  A man and a dog were sitting on the grass under a shade tree farther up the hill, and to my left there was someone else, also on the grass.  I stood for a moment, observing, making sure that I truly wanted to be here and that I would not be disturbing anyone.  However, the rock was all mine at the moment.  I carefully and quietly climbed to the top with slow deliberate steps, trying not to slip or otherwise reveal myself to those who were nearby.  Success!  Facing southeast, I sat and stretched my legs out in front of me and got comfortable.  I breathed deeply, and exhaled the stresses of the day from the office. I let the sun light my face and the heat from the rock warm my tush.  Ahh yes, a perfect spot for my Japanese dinner: three onigiri and a hot cup of miso soup.

After a while, I lay down on the sun-heated rock and, using my backpack as a pillow, I watched the blue sky, the wind blowing through the leaves, and the birds riding the air. I was moved to take the photo below with my iPhone.

What the rock sees from the Great Hill.

I had purchased the onigiri (squeezed rice with goodies in the middle) that morning at Sunrise Mart in SoHo.  The "goodies" inside were three of my many favorites: grilled salmon, simmered bonito, and seasoned seaweed with sesame seeds.  The miso soup, however, I purchased at Pret-a-Manger in Midtown, after finishing my work errands, just before taking the uptown subway ride.  How brilliantly convenient was that?  I <3 NYC.

another wooden glasses frames

Found another wooden glasses frames provider!  As you may (or not) recall, I was shopping for a wooden glasses frames back in 2009 as blogged here.  I mentioned Urban Spectacles from Chicago.  Now, here's another brand Shwood from Portland.  It's spreading!  Knowing there's other options besides plastic or metal, makes me happy.

Tea Under an Orange Tree in January Arizona

Orange tree providing us with perfect shade for an afternoon tea.

Oranges are just coming into tasty season

Here we all are

Japanese Potato Salad

Our first attempt to make Japanese Potato Salad, all on our own, with out our friend M who showed us how over the New Year weekend.

Peel and boil the potatoes.  

Drain and continue to heat until they get powdery on the outside.

Julienne white onion, carrots and cucumber.  

Chopped up hard boiled eggs and crispy bacon are optional.

Squirt Japanese mayonnaise and mix. 

Ta-da! 

Although we like the result, we skipped the butter this time, and wondering if that's the reason it doesn't quite taste like store bought JPS that J likes.

Next time we plan to try without the bacon and eggs.  (oh, I was just corrected:  We'll omit the bacon, but leave the eggs.  We like the eggs in it.)

Good Morning 2011

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!

A view of morning sun, around 9 a.m. New Jersey time today, taken on iPhone.  Yep, I slept through the new year sunrise.  Ha!  I slept very well, thank you, after sharing a bottle of Champagne Perrier-Jouet Blason Rose to cheer in the new calender year with fire works across the Hudson river.

A rather warm new years transition, and for those who chose to celebrate at Times Square and to watch the celebrated ball drop, this was the year to do it.  Once again, I was tempted to participate in that event one day, rather than thinking, as I remember doing last year, oh boy am I ever so happy to be warm and dry at home and those who are out there are crazy and I'm too old for such hoopla, anyway.

Wishing you all Peace, Prosperity, Good Health, and a Joyful year, through and through.

Satoimo = Japanese Taro

This is my first time cooking these hairy balls that are SATOIMO, Japanese taro.  About to wash and blanch in boiling water for 3 minutes, in order to peel them easily. Let's see what happens.

Well, not all of them peeled as easily as the one pictured above, but the technique has merits.  I had to boil them longer than 3 minutes, so I recommend starting to time once the water returns to boil with the satoimo in pot.


Boiling for few minutes cooks the outer layer just enough to activate the slimy texture.  Then, quickly cool them in ice-water, just enough to handle them in your bare hands, and push-slide the tough skin off.  Important: this is a preparation stage, and satoimo is NOT thoroughly cooked through yet.


Then, so what you like with them as you would use any potato.  I added them into oden (Japanese hot pot) tonight.


Wishing you all a warm and cozy comfortable years end 2010. and peace and prosperity in 2011.


Love, 


C & J

Autumn foliage in early morning light against cliff side rocks.

We recently leased a car.  A hybrid.  It's been two weeks.

With this new found access to car, and freedom and responsibility that come with it, our minds are expanding with new ideas of how we can spend our weekends.

Last night, we decided to drive ourselves to near by George Washington Bridge and Interstate Park with our cameras to meet the sunrise, and explore.  I wasn't 100% convinced that we would actually wake up, pretty up, and go out in time to see the sun rise, as part of me imagined scenarios where we would simply over sleep, or snooze the heck out of the alarm, succumbing to the trap of coziness and warmth under the blanket.  Needless to say, my husband enthusiastically forged the way to a special Sunday.